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Jaded Madness

There is a question I keep asking myself.
ďDo I really love you?Ē
And I come up with the same answer every time.
ďI donít know.Ē

† And then I simply shake my head and go on,
As if it wasnít a problem to begin with.
But it lingers in the back of my mind.
That nagging doubt.

† I know your not one of many words,
Or even actions.
But couldnít you give me a little sign?
Something to tell me which way to go?

† Laughing at myself I know you would never,
It would only make life simpler.
And heaven forbid that ever happening.
Please donít do something out of character on my account.

† Yet I know you know of my hunger, my love?
But still you do nothing, not a word comes from your mouth.
I silently yearn to know you like no other.
I care not if you are truly mad.

† Your eyes cast a spell around me,
Begging for more.
Needing you to calm my burning fire within.
To drown me in you blueish green eyes.

† Your beautiful white hair reminds me on snow,
And it fits you well.
Your cold, unloving, and so distant.
But you see I have been here before.

† Loving a man so cold and uncaring,
A man that would not love me back.
Itís a silly notion I know, but love in itís self is serious.

† Perhaps I am the one mad?
Or is it desperation on my part?
The need to feel love, drives me insane.
So insane I believe that there might be a chance.

† I lay at your side at night wishing, hoping, wanting you.
The man that once held my heart is nothing more than a
Flash of memory.
Replaced the your heated gaze.
Your passion full kisses.

† So please if I am insane,
Or dreaming, or even dead.
Please, please donít tell my heart.

I tried to make this for Midori Natari Himuraís story, White Tiger, Jade Concubine So please donít tell my heart it doesnít fit, for surely this I already know.